Am I Boring or Are You?
I talk a lot.
I probably talk too much.
People can definitely vouch for that....
One thing I have noticed after being away for a substantial period of time is that there are a lot of people around who I barely know, which should be an enticing challenge to alleviate the same conversation patterns here.
But maybe I am boring. I am one who gets uncomfortable with mundane level of conversation. I like people who talk about things they are passionate about, whether it is butterfly pressing, mute-sheep impersonating or bare-back horse riding (note: although I have been known to do a good mute-sheep impersonation, this is not one of my hobbies or passions).
So, the trick is how do you get to that level of conversation with people? Meeting new people is the hardest thing I have ever had to do - I feel everyone starts with the same story to a point, and then if you meet their criteria, you can hit the next level of conversation.
The truth is that when the criteria Version 2 was released, I clearly wasn't on the distribution list. I have spent some time trying to get my hands on the new Version, but all I can come up with so far is:
1 – If you want to talk to me, then ask me a question
2 – I might be nice to you, but that doesn’t mean I want to know you
3 – If I do ask you a question, that does not mean I like you
For those who are making conversation with people of the opposite sex, the additional rules apply:
1 – If you are talking to me, you must be interested in me
2 – If you aren’t interested in me, then piss off, I already have enough friends
Finally, for those who are speaking to someone who either has a “relevant other” or is actively seeking one:
1 – “Hey, pay attention, I am over here”, go and chase later or don’t bother talking to me
2 – I am happy to talk to you, but my partner isn’t, so please accept this apology for him/her having visuals of causing you grievous bodily harm until the urge becomes too strong and I will promptly end our brief exchange
I am still trying the old method of communicating and not getting past the initial phases. Now I finally know how the "Scissor-style" high-jumpers felt when the "Frosbee flop" was born.
Looks like I just can't get the height anymore.
posted by Hoops at 8:30 AM
8 Comments:
I make the first comment for Hoops.
Whoop(s)...
5:14 PM
I believe hoops is examining something non-linear from a linear viewpoint, and should accept that sometimes you start at the midpoint and end at the beginning. Sometimes you think you haven't reached that next level, and in thinking so, you really have. Sometimes that "level" is fictitous, and in reality you are already there.
See, sometimes when you win, you actually lose, and sometimes when you lose, you actually win. Sometimes when you win or lose, you actually really draw.
6:40 PM
I dig the vibe of this..
modern relations are not always easy, and there can be an element of superficiality that exists in some exchanges...which makes open dialogue so exciting.
What could be if one took a risk?
11:07 AM
And just because I'm thirsty, it doesn't mean I want you to get me a glass of water. I want you to sympathise. I want you to say "I too know what it feels like to be thirsty. I too have felt thirst."
12:04 PM
Grow up!!!
Obviously you've returned to Australia and your not getting any. I can understand your fustration, but please let us not get too philosophical about a common problem. Men have struggled to actually communicate with women for several millenia. Perhaps after a long week of difficulties at work people just want to wind down and leave their passion at home - it's called chilling out and Australians are known worldwide for our skillfull ability to just chill and enjoy the ride.
Clearly you've missed the point of communication. Meeting someone new has always involved small talk. How often have you walked up to somebody that you've never met before and began your introductions with 'What are your thoughts on starvation in Africa". Perhaps arrogance plays a part in this or perhaps you find yourself far more interesting than the rest of the world does.
My advice is give up the attitude and develop some wit!!! If you want some deep and meaningful conversation then join a book club or go to an AA meeting.
10:44 AM
Well,
That is obviously a lot of thought for someone who believes in "small talk."
I am glad that it took you 3 weeks to digest the overwhelming message that came through on my first blog.
I guess you must be getting much more than I am if your small talk begs a 3 weeks response, let alone reply anonymously when someone introduces themselves to you.
10:55 AM
Last Anonymous, you're funny. Except you need to learn the difference between you're and your. You seem to have "you've" down, so there is hope.
And what is with this anonymous business? Mr Gr8 decides to come out of the cracks and be brave. It is lame to talk behind these curtains and cloaks of anonymity.
11:00 AM
Maybe the problem is that you are trying to communicate with all these new people who are in fact from a different generation to your own. You know that generation that apparently primarily communicate by sms and email? You should be happy that you are someone who can actually communicate by talking. A possible solution: when the conversation plateaus get the persons mobile number and continue conversing by sms. This may make the other person more comfortable and you may discover their true passion in life (possibly 267 sms's later). Asking for their number could also be considered a bit too forward, but it is worth a shot.
1:24 PM
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